she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just gift wrapped bread.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
