Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize