Porn is love you can see.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
