he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
