none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Couch. On fire.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
