Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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