he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
