Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
