the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
