There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
