part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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