Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
