were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
