Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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