Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
