Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
