my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
