i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ttyl tear gas
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
