Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
