I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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