Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
