I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
