i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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