She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
