he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize