Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
