you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
