I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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