I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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