oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
