Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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