Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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