Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
