Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
