Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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