I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
