does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
