No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
