went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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