For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
