he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize