Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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