Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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