This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I AM VODKA MAN
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
