these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
