I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
