dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
