Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
