Already got asked if we're dating
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
