I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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