I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
