dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
