he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
