Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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