My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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