So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize