Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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