Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize