Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
