She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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