you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
