He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
