I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
