big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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