So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
