all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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