She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
