He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Its about making memories worth repressing
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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