I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
