Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
